Eulogy

One of Bettina’s memories that she would share with us took place when she was a little girl. Due to a leg ailment, Bettina had to wear special orthopedic shoes. To say that these shoes were unattractive would be an understatement. One day, on their walk home with her sisters, Bettina made them stop. She slipped off one shoe. She slipped off the other. She found the nearest trash can and promptly deposited the both of them. When she got home and was questioned about the whereabouts of her shoes, she confidently and calmly replied, “I threw them away.” The next hour and a half was spent searching neighborhood trash cans until the shoes were found and Bettina was scolded. On the way home, the very next day, those same shoes found their way into another garbage can.

To Paul, Bettina was the living embodiment of Wonder Woman. She was strong, beautiful, just and kind. All of the kids in school referred to her as the ‘beautiful teacher’. Looking back at photographs that Dan has, you feel like you are looking at a Hollywood starlet photo shoot. Every hair in place, every outfit picked out just right. Of course, it wasn’t an accident, Bettina had such a passion for beauty and art throughout her life. A passion that she transferred to Paul. With her eyes she could take in a work of art, and with her hands she could recreate in to near perfection with such detail and patience.

She was an angel, only Bettina was never a boring angel. She wasn’t just about harpsichords, rainbows, and puppies. She was about fire, passion, and enjoying all of the good things that God gave to this earth. She had a fierce love for her husband and children. They were always her priority. She had an uncanny knack for truth. She saw through to the heart of people and knew what they were about. She saw their faults, their struggles, their insecurities. And when she found those things, she found a way to help.

Bettina spent her life in servitude to others. If you needed kind encouraging words, she gave them. If you needed someone to liven up an event she would shout and sing. She could also be comedy relief at a moments notice, bumping into things and acting silly. There wasn’t a role that she wasn’t willing to play in order to meet the needs of others. I have even heard her say some pretty choice words when the proper occasions called for it. Anything for her family.

Last Sunday, the night before Bettina passed, I wasn’t able to attend Sunday dinner with the family. As was her custom, Bettina sent home with Paul a box of goodies including a dinner for me. As I was thanking her over the phone, She informed me that Dan was on the way over to our house. She said that as she was looking in the fridge she noticed that she forgot to send over the toppings for the meal. “Oh that’s not a big deal Bettina,” I said, we could have just picked it up tomorrow. “

“No.” she said firmly. “You need it tonight, not tomorrow. But tonight. I want you to have what everyone else in the family had.

When she said it, I knew what she meant. She wanted me to enjoy all of the love, happiness, and concern that she gave to each of the boys. She wanted me to experience what it was like to grow up in a household filled with love and laughter. A place that wasn’t just a fairytale. A place that existed in the Gastellum household that she worked so hard to create. She wanted me to experience a fraction of the love that Paul enjoyed every day of his life. I am proud to say that I have and it has changed my viewpoint of what true love can accomplish in this world.